Whenever I go to the beach, I spend the
majority of my time being irritated by the colossal amount of sand that has somehow got into various
places, trying to find a shady spot to put my iPod yet keep my whole body in the sun or picking out an ice cream
that won’t melt in the time it takes me to walk back to my towel.
But the surfers in these films do it so much better. Walking
on the sand like it's no harder than walking on pavement and they all have this instant,
all over tan that not even a bottle of 'St Tropez' and a flexible arm could achieve. You just know when they get in the sea and onto their
board, that they were born cool.
Unfortunately, as this week has showed me, I have neither
the balance nor the hair to be a surfer.
We start the journey on a 6 hour mini bus ride en route to Woolacombe,
North Devon.
After starting how we meant to go on (mass amount of alcohol) and needing about 7 toilet stops and one awkward wee in a can scenario (wasn't me), we dragged out numb bums out into the fresh, countryside air. It was freezing.
Spending the night in a 'surfers cabin' with 8 lads was half the experience, and after a nights sleep in a room contending for the 'most bunk beds in one room' award, I was not as prepared to face the sea as I'd of liked.
Challenge 1 - Get into your wetsuit.
After picking from the wide selection of sizes (small or large) we were sent off to a stand of public toilets to get into our wetsuits. Yes, that says public toilets.
Two attempts later (put it on inside out) and a friend with some blistered hands, we were ready to face our next challenge...
Challenge 2 - Warm up
The trick here, was to warm up enough to face the sea which was at a temperature that would make certain people shrivel at the thought.
The only way to achieve this was to run. I don't like running.
Challenge 3 - SURF!
As I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm not great with water. The fact that I also struggled to stand up on my board when I was on the sand, told me this was going to be a struggle.
Luckily the warm ups did the job and the water wasn't as mind numbing as expected.
After 10 minutes of pretending I was looking for the 'perfect wave', I decided to man up and get on with it. Seeing around me that other people seemed to be getting ready for a wave, I picked up my humongous board and tried to flip it around. Unfortunately, I wasn't quite quick enough and now my head knows why you shouldn't put your board horizontal in the sea.
That wasn't stopping me though.
The next wave I saw coming, I quickly turned and (I'm not sure how to put this without demeaning myself) straddled the board. I apologise to anyone who saw this, because it was one of the least ladylike things I've ever done. Once on, I paddled like my life depended on it and when I thought I was on the wave, used every bit of energy to try stand up. However, I had created some kind of suction between my boobs, the wetsuit and the board and my chest was stuck.
After an afternoon of trying my hardest, all I achieved was wrinkly skin and a desire to nap.
Oh and someone surfed over my head, that was a weird sensation!
Talent Rating - 4/10 more like whale watch than Baywatch!
Breaking news! Surfing makes your hangover go away!
Spending the night in a 'surfers cabin' with 8 lads was half the experience, and after a nights sleep in a room contending for the 'most bunk beds in one room' award, I was not as prepared to face the sea as I'd of liked.
Challenge 1 - Get into your wetsuit.
After picking from the wide selection of sizes (small or large) we were sent off to a stand of public toilets to get into our wetsuits. Yes, that says public toilets.
Two attempts later (put it on inside out) and a friend with some blistered hands, we were ready to face our next challenge...
Challenge 2 - Warm up
The trick here, was to warm up enough to face the sea which was at a temperature that would make certain people shrivel at the thought.
The only way to achieve this was to run. I don't like running.
Challenge 3 - SURF!
As I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm not great with water. The fact that I also struggled to stand up on my board when I was on the sand, told me this was going to be a struggle.
Luckily the warm ups did the job and the water wasn't as mind numbing as expected.
After 10 minutes of pretending I was looking for the 'perfect wave', I decided to man up and get on with it. Seeing around me that other people seemed to be getting ready for a wave, I picked up my humongous board and tried to flip it around. Unfortunately, I wasn't quite quick enough and now my head knows why you shouldn't put your board horizontal in the sea.
That wasn't stopping me though.
The next wave I saw coming, I quickly turned and (I'm not sure how to put this without demeaning myself) straddled the board. I apologise to anyone who saw this, because it was one of the least ladylike things I've ever done. Once on, I paddled like my life depended on it and when I thought I was on the wave, used every bit of energy to try stand up. However, I had created some kind of suction between my boobs, the wetsuit and the board and my chest was stuck.
After an afternoon of trying my hardest, all I achieved was wrinkly skin and a desire to nap.
Oh and someone surfed over my head, that was a weird sensation!
Talent Rating - 4/10 more like whale watch than Baywatch!
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