Week Three - White Water Rafting

As a toddler, my mum would have to bath me in the sink as I was too scared of water to be allowed into a big tub of it. This arrangement was fine for the both of us as mum would sometimes do the dishes at the same time and a saucepan made a great bath time toy for me!  With this in mind, imagine the fear in my mother’s voice when I rang her up to tell her my next talent try out.

White water rafting.

Now I only managed to get to level 4 in swimming at school, so it’s fair to say I was apprehensive about trying this one out, but with the right amount of peer pressure and a drunken agreement, I found myself at Nottingham’s water sport centre. Luckily, I had a group of my best friends with me, each of us with about as much experience of WWR as a group of monkeys. 

After a briefing that consisted of what to expect on the course (falling out a lot) and what to do when you fell out the raft (hold your breath), I was strapped up in more padding than the whole of the 90s.

With my tightly secured helmet giving me more chins than I deserved and my not so waterproof mascara applied, I was ready to go. There were 6 of us in our boat accompanied by a banter-full young instructor, as well as 5 or so other boats, all full of lads apparently on a stag do.

The first run or the 'dry run' as the pros called it, was quite a pleasant albeit damp experience. No special tricks or moves, just the rafting equivalent of a stroll in the park. 

The second run, however, was quite a different experience. My first overboard fall came after the dunking of my best friend (video at the bottom) and as much as I denied it, unfortunately there is video evidence of me dragging her out the raft with me. Oops. The current of the water meant that you often got sucked under the raft after falling, luckily this sounds scarier than it actually was.

By the third and final run, I basically gave up to staying in the raft. 

I'd say the most humiliating part was the bit were I had to be roped and dragged out of the water in front of boats full of guys, who weren't even trying to contain their laughter. 

Even though this course was man-made (I probably would have died doing a natural course) I didn't have high hopes for myself being any good at this. I did however make an excellent effort at looking like a twat and got royally caravanned later that night. 

Talent Rating – 3/10 Completely terrifying, but one of the best things I've ever done!

Top Tip: If you ever wonder where the attractive men in Nottingham go, apparently it's at the water sports centre.

Week Two - Skiing

This weekend not only have I realised I have no sensible shoes to wear in the snow but I have also booked myself onto my uni's annual ski trip.

There are a few issues with this though; 

1) I have never skied before in my life

2) I have absolutely no co-ordination

3) I still have no sensible shoes

Now in order to stop myself from breaking my neck and to look exactly like the picture below I need 2 things; Ebay and Skiing lessons.

Donning my favourite tracksuit bottoms (that's a thing right?) I jumped on a train to Tamworth Snow-dome for a 2 hour beginners lesson on skiing.
The group consisted of me and 5 others, all of us with no experience of skiing.

The first hurdle I was faced with was getting myself into my snow boots which, when you eventually get them on, make your feet feel like they've been twisted backwards. After doing the most ridiculous walk from the changing room to the snow, I was immediately faced with another problem: the ski "lift". I say this ironically as it was literally just a piece of string rotating round.
Our warm ups included dancing along to head, shoulders, knees and toes whilst jumping in the air skiing down a hill. THIS WAS ON THE FIRST LESSON.
I'd love to say that after 2 hours, I had any kind of grip on skiing, but the next couple of hours consisted of me snow ploughing at about 4 MPH and crashing into groups of OAP s at the bottom, luckily they comforted me with encouraging pats on the back.
What made all of this worse, was the group of school children gliding down from the top of the hill with such ease I was convinced they had skied out of the womb.

As much as I enjoyed the lesson, I have to admit I was absolutely cacking it the whole time. There's something about potentially breaking every bone in your body that is oddly exhilarating yet completely terrifying  However, after all this, I think I will spending most of the ski trip in the bar.

Talent Rating - 2/10 - So much fun, definitely try it with a group of mates as uncoordinated as you!

Favourite moment - I genuinely saw a women lose control down the hill and go straight through the gap at the bottom. Shouldn't laugh, but did. A lot. 

Aftermath of Dodgeball

Here's a fun fact about Dodgeball:

The next day you hurt, a lot.

I'm talking, texting your house mate to come open your curtains, kind of hurt.

Week One - Dodgeball

Week One

To ease myself into this journey, I thought I'd give Dodgeball a go. My ball control has always been satisfactory (no pun intended) and if Vince Vaughn could do it, I might have a shot.
Oh how wrong I was.

Turning up to practice, I was slightly disappointed not to have a wheelchair bound coach with a bag of spanners and hammers, instead a springy 20 something year old with bags of enthusiasm and a glimmer of hope in his eyes.
My heart also sank when, looking round the group of 13, I was one of only 3 girls. If you've never played Dodgeball before, believe me when I tell you it's a sausage fest of lads who are potentially all on anger management courses.

Dodgeball is a 12 person game, 6 members on each teams side of court, with 3 balls in the middle. In simple terms, the aim of the game is to get all members of the other team out, by hitting them with a ball or catching a ball thrown by them, whilst staying on your side of the court. If you are 'outted', you can only get back in if someone on your team catches a ball.
It is much simpler than it sounds.

To begin the session we began a few practice games, I assumed friendly matches to get us warmed up, but I think it was more along the lines of testing your pain barrier.
We then started learning some techniques - it turns out there is more to learn than Dodge, Dip, Dive, Duck and Dodge. If you've got the arm strength for it, an overhead throw is your best move and then you must spend the rest of the game moving around your side of the pitch like some crazy monkey, trying not to get whacked by a flying ball. This info may have been useful before the first game.
Come the second lot of games, I was confident I had this down. I'd got dodging the ball down to a T and on my first throw I had someone out. This was all well and good until, in true Hollywood movie style, I found myself the last member of my team against all 3 balls.
I'll just say it didn't end well.

Talent Rating 3/10 - but a hell of a lot of fun!
WARNING - THIS GAME WILL GIVE YOU DRY HANDS. 

Introduction

As a child, I was deprived of any after school activities. Whilst all my fellow classmates were dreaming of becoming a beautiful ballerina, a kick ass drummer in the next 'Busted', or karate chopping each other in the playground, I was picking out the ideal conker and cleaning my 'Groovy Chick' room to my mums OCD standard.
If your heart isn't bleeding for me by now, then shame on you.

This, I fully suspect, is the main contributing factor to why I, Amber Bedford, have no talents. At 21.

So, I ask of you, blogging world, to follow my journey as I desperately seek into the world of hobbies and activities to find my one true talent and laugh at me as I go along. As soon as I fill this gaping, talentless hole that lies within me, I feel certain that writing the hobbies section in my CV will be much easier.